Note To Self:

Do you remember that old store we used to see. Yeah, the one called hopeless boys and bigger dreams. There’s a sale on TV’s. We should get one and sit on the couch, and watch celebrities and movies, and let stories fill our brains. Until we see what we need and reach but are ashamed. Because we know, we will never be able to act or sing. They are happy, they have it easy. Sit and watch their life as if you were a symbiote and submit to the sublime sustenance that is their show. A showing of fools, of jesters. Feel your face grow green. Feel your hands clench and teeth grind as these dancers dance and enjoy what it is you want so badly at the finish line. Watch as you compare your life to these people. Flip back on this couch, and realize that you are no where, and and you will never amount, to anything, you are small, hopeless and feeble. Don’t even try, you could never touch these people. STOP. Lift up your head and watch. Do you see what I see? I see people who are idiots. People who are selfish and greedy. I see monsters and demons who are ignoring the needy. I see power being taken and power being abused. I see Jersery Shore getting over a million of views on YouTube. Return this TV. Return it with the remotes and the batteries. This isn’t what we need. Return this TV but do not drive. Carry it back to the corner of reality and life. Carry it on your back and bring it back to the door. Run with it on your shoulders but be prepared I hear it’s about 1000 kilometres. Yes it will be hard. Yes it will hurt. Yes it will be long. But think of the worth. Think of what you will see. The sky so blue, so high, so out of reach. Think of the people you will meet. Ask them for help. Those who stick with you, never take them granted and never doubt, that they will always be there. There to share the burden, there to keep you going. There to give you a hard time so that you can shine. To push you to the limit and see how you can sore past it. And touch the sky with your own hand.  There to help push and pull this monstrosity. And see at last they are what you really need. Finally, think of her, you have met the one. Think of what she would have done. Think of what she would want. Think of when you are done with returning this TV, you can take the money and see her and see her always. Take the money and buy a house. Take the money and love her and never doubt, that she is what you always need. What you always wanted. Fill the home with books, and love, and dreams. Return this TV, and return to what you really need, because one day you and her will make your own home movies.